Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Life lessons

Clarity--such an awesome word. Clarity as in expression. Clarity is a funny thing. Things are always clearer after it's too late to change the event.

I've had moments where my judgement has failed. Let me say, I wish clarity had been on my side a few times in the past. Nothing ever is as clear as when we've failed.

I am standing at the beginning of many paths unsettling me with many decisions. Do I or don't I? Which path is the right one? Do I rely on instinct or do I follow my heart?

There are things we must lose in order to gain. Sometimes we must endure pain to feel again. Things must spin out of control to be appreciated when they smooth out.

Imagine if we had chosen a different path. Is it possible to wonder what we could/would have experienced? Would it have been a better journey, or far worse?

Clarity, it's not always on out side or available at our whim. And when some things are clear, we wish they weren't. Being left in the dark is often a comfort.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Men and Women argue they don't...yes they yes

I like to call arguing in a relationship a "domestic hiccup." We are human beings and are bound to lose our temper. Couples argue about sex to toothpaste to finances to laundry. Have you ever been in an argument and then stopped and asked yourself, "What the hell are we even arguing about?" Many times this happens because we lose our desire to solve the issue and become more focused in gaining control. Not that I'm an expert, but ever heard of "useless argument?"

I think I've played out every argument there is--in my books that is. Maybe that does make me an expert on some level of the word. I call writing "therapy" for a reason. Romance is key in writing the genre, but so is conflict. As much as two people want the highs, they've gotta have their share of lows. A good argument can bring a couple closer. Arguing requires passion. To have passion you've gotta care. Otherwise, it wouldn't be worth the time and effort. And in a romance book, conflict comes like crashing waves that keep the story flowing to the happy ending.

My characters have never argued over laundry, or even toothpaste. I mean, after all, did you argue with your mate about those things at the beginning of your relationship? My hero and heroine argue about the meat and potato obstacles. I'll admit it, the hotter the argument the hotter making up can be. Isn't that why we have conflict in some cases? Who really cares that the cap was left off the toothpaste container?

The book I'm working on at the moment, Second Chance, is full of conflict. My characters rub each other the wrong way--all of the time. In and out of the relationship over the last five years, they've certainly had their ups and downs. I'm not sure who in their right mind would last the roller coaster ride for that long, but my hero and heroine are destined for good things. They deserve rewarded, and trust me, they will be.

The next time you find yourself entangled in an argument with the partner, why not skip the drama and head straight for the make up session. If the problem still exists, maybe it'd be easier to come to a resolution when the endorphines are still rushing. Just a thought...