Thursday, August 23, 2012

Recipe of the Week

I'll admit it. The older I get the more enjoyment I get from eating. From warm, gooey pizza, to creamy pasta dishes, to fresh veggies and fruits, to rich desserts. I also understand the pleasure that my partner gets from eating...especially when I've made a special meal. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, absolutely. I know I get lots of pleasure when he cooks. A man who can wield a spatula is definitely a turn on for me. Watching a man deftly move around the kitchen, creating masterpieces with his hands, the tip of his tongue darting out as he concentrates on whipping a batter...sounds like a dreamy visual treat.

For weeks now I've had a recipe idea bouncing around inside my head. It was being booted out of the way by heated characters and sexy storylines, yet I knew eventually I'd make time to create another pie. Because this creation was such a hit in my house, I have to share. So, here it is:

Pineapple Island Pie


1 8 oz. can crushed pineapple, with juice
1 4 oz. vanilla instant pudding
1 container whipped topping, thawed
1 t. vanilla
1 cup coconut
1 graham cracker pie shell

Mix together pineapple, dry pudding and vanilla. Mix well. Add coconut. Stir. Then add whipped topping, stirring carefully until all combined. Scoop into the pie shell. Garnish with reserved coconut. Refrigerate at least 2 hours.

Hints: You don't need a full cup of coconut. Adjust this to your flavor and how much you like coconut. Sometimes too much coconut takes away from the flavors.

Also, the pie can be served frozen if you prefer.

Here is the pie after my fam devoured it...


Monday, August 20, 2012

Sex and Whipped Topping

Maybe your sex life is perfect and there isn't anything you could do better or different to make things spicier. Do I hear laughter? Who is that laughing? Probably many of you. Most of us understand the value in doing something better or spicing up things with your lover. Let's face it, sometimes intimacy can fade when you're weighed with work, kids and other stressors. However, you can change things and be glad you did.

First things first, if you're a little shy...that's okay. You may have to take baby steps into opening up to your lover and trying new things. But what's important is changing your mind set. So start things off with a new positive, sexier attitude. You'd be surprised how our mind controls how we feel. If you need a little motivation, buy yourself a luxurious bra and panties. There is something sexy in knowing you're wearing lace and satin underneath your clothes. Ready for the fireworks to begin?Tell your man, or send him a text or write a note, that you want him BAD and watch how quickly things heat up.

Now for the fun stuff. Here are ten days of suggestions on getting things hotter in the bedroom.

Day 1: Sleep naked. There is something very sensual about having your naked body against cool, soft sheets. And who knows what will pop up during the night. More than just snoring, I'm sure.

Day 2: Walk around in a sexy bra and panties. Have no fear about the parts of your body you don't like. He won't see anything but what he wants to do with you next.

Day 3: Send your partner a naughty text. It can be as dirty as you wish. After all, he'll be the only one seeing it. By the time he gets home he will be on fire and you'll feel power knowing he has thought about you all day.

Day 4: S-L-O-W down. Sure, quicklies can be exciting, but today take the time to touch him everywhere. Gentle touching can be erotic and it allows partners to reconnect. It makes one feel special to have someone paying them such sweet attention.

Day 5: It's football season. So, why not have him become your biggest fan when you steal a jersey from his closet and wear it with nothing else. His mind will be on the ball for sure.

Day 6: Take a shower together. For an even more intimate experience, light candles and play in-the-mood music. If your lucky your man will wash your hair and your body. Don't forget to wash his too, without a washcloth.

Day 7: Get vocal (when the kids aren't home). Allow yourself to let loose. Seriously, go for it. Pretend you're trying out for the cheer team. Let him know what feels good and what you need most. Men like to hear what turns a woman on. Try it and see for yourself.

Day 8: Watch a dirty movie. For some couples, this can add a perfect amount of spice. For others, it's not up your alley and that's ok. But think of it this way, he will probably only watch about 30 seconds of the show because he will be hot for you.

Day 9: Go out to dinner and wear a skirt. Give your man a peep of long legs, and maybe a shot or two of you wearing no panties. If you're brave, take your panties off during dinner and toss them into his lap. Need I explain how he'll respond?

Day 10: Have a quickie in an unusual place. If you're not so sure about random sex outside of the house, then think of a place inside the house that would make for a pleasurable quickie. Have you ever tried up against a wall? On the floor? On the stairs? On the washer? Use your imagination...

Remember, enjoying your partner in the bedroom, and feeling comfortable with your needs, will make life happier everywhere. What happens behind closed doors, or some other secret location, is between the two of you. Enjoy each other.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

One night do or not to do

In this day and age, one night stands are common. Here's a thought though, what if a one night stands leads to an accidental pregnancy? Don't get ahead of your self--NOOOOO, I am not pregnant (and no, I didn't have a one-night stand). Why do I wonder you ask? Well, I wrote a novel here recently named With Honor. I've already contracted the work with Lyrical Press. The storyline consists of a one night stand that led to--you guessed it--pregnancy. It happens...and some of you know by personal experience.

Some may call it a nightmare, and others a blessing. You had one night with a stranger and conceived. I won't get into the nitty gritty of whether you decide to keep the baby or not, that's a whole other story. Just the basic question is, "Do you have an obligation to tell the father?" This was a dilemma for my heroine in With Honor.

There are two aspects to this question: A legal obligation versus a moral obligation.  Ethically, you probably should tell the father. Legally, it's not required. Remember, I'm not talking whether you decide to keep it or not, or even adoption...that's where the law gets sticky.

I can tell you my heroine Jasmine did tell the baby's father. What I can't let you in on is the twists an turns in this contemporary military romance. You'll have to wait until it releases in 2013. One hint we ever really know who a person is in bed until we get to know them outside of the bedroom?

Next time you want to get your groove on, keep in mind that acccidents do happen. Are you prepared?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Best Skirts For Your Shape

Before we know it Fall will be here and we will be putting our shorts away and pulling out the skirts. Do you ever wonder what style looks best on your body? I'm not a stylist by all means, but hope this helps:

For those with a tummy (most of us deal with this) or an apple shape: A black pencil skirt hides the muffin top. Pair it with a tucked in cami. The skirt with an angle draws the eyes downward to show off nice legs. Pleats also show off legs.

the best fall skirts for your shape
the best fall skirts for your shape

the best fall skirts for your shape

the best fall skirts for your shape

If you're petite and curvy: The skirts with a higher waistline make shorter women look like they have longer legs. A structured A-line lengthens.
the best fall skirts for your shape
If you're straight up and down: Pleats give the illusion of curves.  Rouching adds flair. A slender frame can pull off a mini.
the best fall skirts for your shapethe best fall skirts for your shape
the best fall skirts for your shape
If you're a plus size: Ruffles work but they should start mid-thigh. A pencil skirt is a great investment. A flowing dress gives you lots of room.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Think Before You Speak

How many times have you allowed something to slip from your tongue only to regret it later? I've been a victim to verbal disaster more times than I'd like to admit to. Jealousy, anger, frustration, irritation...all can play a part in making a verbal outpouring much like a pig at a slaughter house.

I've heard people say time and again, "I say what's on my mind. I'm just an open person." Congratulations for being an "open" person. However, let's define open in a communication sorta way, at least from my standpoint. Open--Revealing your emotions and feelings, thoughts and ideas, as productive steps to making a relationship healthier. So in this context, OPEN is a good thing and necessary in a relationship. Agreed? Now, let's define open in another context. Open--an excuse for people to say anything, everything they want without thinking of the consequences of someone's feelings, thoughts or how their words may hurt. Sure, this is considered open to some, but I'd like to call it what it is, "verbal diarrhea."

In no way am I suggesting that one should be dishonest. Lying is as hurtful as a flabber lips gone wild. Here's an example: As women in relationships we like to look pretty for ourselves, and for our significant other. So, if your partner should ask, "Honey, how do I look in my new jeans?" Would you reply with A. Sweetheart, you're beautiful. OR B. bought those! What were you thinking? they are horrible.  Most would answer with A. However, for those of you who would be "honest" and answer with B, well, you are one who I'd label as a person with verbal diarrhea. Diarrhea is never good in any situation.

We should keep in mind that everything we say can and will be used against us. Take Facebook for instance. How easy is it to sit down and type away at the keyboard, venting feelings and emotions, pissed off at the world and wanting to take down a few along the way to salvation? Pretty easy, huh? Now, how easy is it to forget how many people will see your post? Let's throw in a few facts here: Just like texting, everyone has a different perception of how they read your words. One wrong verb, noun or adjective and who knows what you've written. Also, posting nasty things about others wouldn't make you an "open" or "honest" person. It makes you a "spiteful" person. If you gotta vent (I've been there) talk to a bestie. But if the fingers are just itching to post on FB...go ahead, but make it such a random posting that no fingers are pointed in one direction. Trust me, you'll look like the better person in the long run.

It's easier to think before you speak than to destroy someone or something with a verbal onslaught.    

Friday, August 10, 2012

Think all guys are dogs?

As women, we are always asking, "What was HE thinking?" Just as men wonder what makes a woman tick, well, women wonder the same thing about men. I'd probably say we are way off on what we believe makes up the opposite gender.

Though this may be against popular belief, most men are nice. Men are often portrayed as heartless bastards with one goal, to screw over a woman. Not true. Men are looking for an emotional connection, just as we are. They seek a relationship and care what we are feeling.

If you're waiting for that guy you have a crush on to ask you out, think again. Sometimes women get caught up in what we think is the man's "responsibility." We give guys the power in asking us out, picking the date place, and whether or not he'll call us for a second date. Giving a man all of that control puts all of the emphasis on what he is thinking or feeling about you. But what are your feelings and thoughts about him? If you had a good date, why not call or text to let him know you enjoyed yourself? Point is, don't just sit around waiting for a man to ask you out. Why not ask him out? If a guy really likes you and wants to talk with you he'll be flattered that you reached out.

Let's talk sex. The average age when a female first has sex is 17. As a female, I know that's way too young, but try telling a teen that. Unfortunately, most women don't start having orgasms until they have reached their twenties. Clearly, women need to start speaking up about what they want in the bedroom. This is an area where a lot of women may be uncomfortable. But think about it ladies, what man is going to be turned off if you take his hand and show him what does it for you? Having open communication is as important behind closed doors as it is anywhere else in a relationship. Get over the inhibitions and bring the intimacy to a new level--you'll both be glad you did.

All men and women have physical flaws. The problem isn't that we have imperfections, the downfall is when we rely on our looks as the best way to attract a man. If a woman believes that if she were five pounds lighter,  had prettier lips and cheekbones, had longer legs (etc.) she'd be happier in love...well, so NOT true. Men are visual creatures certainly, but they also want someone who can have a conversation. So, next time ladies, stop worrying about your thighs and start relaxing and being yourself. Connect with your humorous side and make him laugh.

Men have emotions too. Sometimes we use the excuse that a man is an asshole to justify a failed relationship. If it makes you feel better to use that, go ahead. But beware that you don't allow yourself to believe that "all" men are incapable of being a great partner because they're "all" jerks. Relationships aren't easy. In fact, there's a good possibility you'll get hurt many times before you find the man who makes you happy. Truth is, men get hurt too. They are screwed over by women and have stories of broken hearts.

Most men are great guys and would make a great partner. However, beware of the bona fide jerks. Unfortunately, there are some men who pride themselves in being an asshole. Here's what YOU don't want in a man:

1. He only wants sex. If his idea of a date is a midnight booty call and he never takes you anywhere else, that's a good sign that he isn't relationship material. Move on!

2. He shows you emotion, or seems interested, only when he's tipsy. Move on! Need I explain...??

3. He says he'll call or text but doesn't. When a man is interested he makes an effort. Being stood up, whether on a live date or a call isn't fair to the one waiting. Move on!

4. You defend his actions. A man who is truly worthy won't need a woman explaining his bad behaviors. A man's true intentions will show in his actions. If you find yourself defending him time and again, it's time to move on!

5. He makes you feel like doodoo. Relationships hurt, sure, but a woman should never feel like she's being stepped on, lied to, mistreated, or abused. If she does, she's dating an asshole. Move on!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Trampvire...Does she exist?

I am sinking my teeth into something new...a Vampire romance. Since this is my first in this subgenre I did a little research on vampires. I think you'll agree with me, the theory of vampires have come a long way. It now seems we have a love/hate relationship with the walking dead.

The term vampire is related to "the walking dead." The legend of vampires is clouded in mystery. When we think of a prehistoric-Vampire we may conjure up images of sharp teeth and ghoul-like dead feeding upon unsuspecting human blood. Once upon a time the image of a vampire was portrayed as a corpse walking around with blood dripping from red lips. With popular movies fantasizing the image, what may pop into our heads now at the mention of a vampire is a sexy, beautiful creature with deep sensual eyes that can promise immortality--for the trade of one's blood.

As a society, our culture clings to the idea of vampires. Their legend has dribbled down from history to history, culture to culture. Variations changing, of course. What the connection is, or so it seems, vampires represent the fear of death and the desire for ever after life. Whatever one's take is on the myth, we've all heard tales. I'm sure we're all curious. As I write my tale of Vampire love, I hope I can bring a new twist, a new flare to an historical subject.

Does that make m a believer...hmm, stay tuned to find out.