Friday, August 10, 2012

Think all guys are dogs?

As women, we are always asking, "What was HE thinking?" Just as men wonder what makes a woman tick, well, women wonder the same thing about men. I'd probably say we are way off on what we believe makes up the opposite gender.

Though this may be against popular belief, most men are nice. Men are often portrayed as heartless bastards with one goal, to screw over a woman. Not true. Men are looking for an emotional connection, just as we are. They seek a relationship and care what we are feeling.

If you're waiting for that guy you have a crush on to ask you out, think again. Sometimes women get caught up in what we think is the man's "responsibility." We give guys the power in asking us out, picking the date place, and whether or not he'll call us for a second date. Giving a man all of that control puts all of the emphasis on what he is thinking or feeling about you. But what are your feelings and thoughts about him? If you had a good date, why not call or text to let him know you enjoyed yourself? Point is, don't just sit around waiting for a man to ask you out. Why not ask him out? If a guy really likes you and wants to talk with you he'll be flattered that you reached out.

Let's talk sex. The average age when a female first has sex is 17. As a female, I know that's way too young, but try telling a teen that. Unfortunately, most women don't start having orgasms until they have reached their twenties. Clearly, women need to start speaking up about what they want in the bedroom. This is an area where a lot of women may be uncomfortable. But think about it ladies, what man is going to be turned off if you take his hand and show him what does it for you? Having open communication is as important behind closed doors as it is anywhere else in a relationship. Get over the inhibitions and bring the intimacy to a new level--you'll both be glad you did.

All men and women have physical flaws. The problem isn't that we have imperfections, the downfall is when we rely on our looks as the best way to attract a man. If a woman believes that if she were five pounds lighter,  had prettier lips and cheekbones, had longer legs (etc.) she'd be happier in love...well, so NOT true. Men are visual creatures certainly, but they also want someone who can have a conversation. So, next time ladies, stop worrying about your thighs and start relaxing and being yourself. Connect with your humorous side and make him laugh.

Men have emotions too. Sometimes we use the excuse that a man is an asshole to justify a failed relationship. If it makes you feel better to use that, go ahead. But beware that you don't allow yourself to believe that "all" men are incapable of being a great partner because they're "all" jerks. Relationships aren't easy. In fact, there's a good possibility you'll get hurt many times before you find the man who makes you happy. Truth is, men get hurt too. They are screwed over by women and have stories of broken hearts.

Most men are great guys and would make a great partner. However, beware of the bona fide jerks. Unfortunately, there are some men who pride themselves in being an asshole. Here's what YOU don't want in a man:

1. He only wants sex. If his idea of a date is a midnight booty call and he never takes you anywhere else, that's a good sign that he isn't relationship material. Move on!

2. He shows you emotion, or seems interested, only when he's tipsy. Move on! Need I explain...??

3. He says he'll call or text but doesn't. When a man is interested he makes an effort. Being stood up, whether on a live date or a call isn't fair to the one waiting. Move on!

4. You defend his actions. A man who is truly worthy won't need a woman explaining his bad behaviors. A man's true intentions will show in his actions. If you find yourself defending him time and again, it's time to move on!

5. He makes you feel like doodoo. Relationships hurt, sure, but a woman should never feel like she's being stepped on, lied to, mistreated, or abused. If she does, she's dating an asshole. Move on!

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