Monday, August 13, 2012

Think Before You Speak

How many times have you allowed something to slip from your tongue only to regret it later? I've been a victim to verbal disaster more times than I'd like to admit to. Jealousy, anger, frustration, irritation...all can play a part in making a verbal outpouring much like a pig at a slaughter house.

I've heard people say time and again, "I say what's on my mind. I'm just an open person." Congratulations for being an "open" person. However, let's define open in a communication sorta way, at least from my standpoint. Open--Revealing your emotions and feelings, thoughts and ideas, as productive steps to making a relationship healthier. So in this context, OPEN is a good thing and necessary in a relationship. Agreed? Now, let's define open in another context. Open--an excuse for people to say anything, everything they want without thinking of the consequences of someone's feelings, thoughts or how their words may hurt. Sure, this is considered open to some, but I'd like to call it what it is, "verbal diarrhea."

In no way am I suggesting that one should be dishonest. Lying is as hurtful as a flabber lips gone wild. Here's an example: As women in relationships we like to look pretty for ourselves, and for our significant other. So, if your partner should ask, "Honey, how do I look in my new jeans?" Would you reply with A. Sweetheart, you're beautiful. OR B. bought those! What were you thinking? they are horrible.  Most would answer with A. However, for those of you who would be "honest" and answer with B, well, you are one who I'd label as a person with verbal diarrhea. Diarrhea is never good in any situation.

We should keep in mind that everything we say can and will be used against us. Take Facebook for instance. How easy is it to sit down and type away at the keyboard, venting feelings and emotions, pissed off at the world and wanting to take down a few along the way to salvation? Pretty easy, huh? Now, how easy is it to forget how many people will see your post? Let's throw in a few facts here: Just like texting, everyone has a different perception of how they read your words. One wrong verb, noun or adjective and who knows what you've written. Also, posting nasty things about others wouldn't make you an "open" or "honest" person. It makes you a "spiteful" person. If you gotta vent (I've been there) talk to a bestie. But if the fingers are just itching to post on FB...go ahead, but make it such a random posting that no fingers are pointed in one direction. Trust me, you'll look like the better person in the long run.

It's easier to think before you speak than to destroy someone or something with a verbal onslaught.    

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