Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A Love Story--Crash and Burn

I've heard that a woman will have suffered four heartaches before she finds the ONE.

My question, what is left of the heart after four heartaches?? I'm imagining a cold, brittle shell of a person. I'm not sure there is much to love after four crash and burns. My stomach turns to think this is possible. A heartache can last a full year, maybe longer, before we recover. Do the calculations. Yikes !

Love is a mystical thing. While we have it, the feeling is breathtaking, magical, boosts one's ego, brings joy and happiness. We treat our partner like they have fallen from heaven. They have no faults. But what happens when we decide, or fate decides, it's over?

This is the scary part. A person who is hurt has the capacity to hurt others--even the innocent. It's like a breeze of insanity sweeps in and numbs the brain cells. A person only knows the pain they are experiencing. How deeply, and what method, he will hurt the target depends on his character and the depth of his pain. Does it take a nasty person to behave nasty? I don't think so. I believe a good man can allow his emotions to cloud his judgment. He wants to feel justified in his behavior. So he twists the facts, proving to himself, and to everyone, "See, I had no choice but to end the relationship." Why this makes it easier for him to move on, who knows, but it does.

Problem? We all have a right to move on the best we can, right? Wrong. When our emotions are at a dangerous level, there is risk for explosion. We don't see, think, act clearly. We lie to ourself, and to others, because we need to feel like there was nothing more we could have done on our part to make the relationship work. History is destined to repeat itself. If you haven't faced the facts of what your issues are, then at least face the fact that you are desitined to repeat the same misgivings.

If you are suffering, take it for what it's worth. Maybe the relationship was worth saving. Loss hurts, of course, but to feel the pain means you care. I've been in relationships where it was over and done was done. I was over it quicker than it took me to say "goodbye." It should always be so easy, right?

Why are we always so quick to let a loved one slip away?

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