Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Do people change?

Have you ever been with someone and thought to yourself, "He would be a great catch if only he could change ______." Or, have you ever been guilty of saying, "I can't change who I am."  Interesting that people will look at a loved one and wish, or even ask, that they change when we don't expect the same out of ourselves.

But I guess I wonder, do people change or do they adapt? 

There is a huge difference. Imagine two people, married for years, and everyday for five years the wife has asked the husband to pick up his dirty socks off the floor or to lower the lid on the toilet. Then, one day, the wife stops asking and picks up the socks or lowers the lid herself. Is that change or adapting? How about if the tables were turned? After being asked on so many occasions to do these things, he finally starts to do them without being asked. Has he changed or adapted to his wife's requests?

Is it possible there is something much deeper here? Could it be that the wife loves her husband enough to tolerate the bad habits? Could it be that the husband loves his wife enough to do as she asks? 

Change, in my opinion, means one transforms into something else. For instance, a man likes pizza but one day wakes up and no longer likes it. He has changed. Adapting to me means, the man enjoys pizza but after he learns he has high cholesterol he can no longer eat pizza.  He has adapted to the situation. He's not a different person.

If we believe a person can't change, but only adapts, this makes me wonder, will he revert back to his 'old' self?

What role does love play in this? I've seen men and women uncover a new person within themselves when love knocks at their door. Is it possible for people to change?

1 comment:

  1. Yes. Without change, we never grow LOL. great post, Rhonda.