Ahava

In English the word love is thrown around to describe anything that pleases us. But have we lost the true meaning of love? Is it no longer a word that describes the deep emotions shared between two people? So, if love is used as a broad term, what seperates love as in "I love pizza" and "I love my ONE." In today's world when people say "I love you forever" and it really means "I love you until something better comes along or we argue" maybe it's time we search for the concept of true love.

What do two people who have shared forty, fifty, or more years together have between them that keeps them together? Is it possible they have a trick that other couples lack? Or, is it a stubborn character that they refuse to allow "life" to defeat them? When we look at it as a whole, what breaks couples up? Temptation of an affair. Finances. Insecurities. Kids. The everyday mountains and hills of life.

Last year I met someone and he introduced me to the word "Ahava." As I did my research, I found that it is a lovely word with such deep meaning.

Ahava is a Hebrew word meaning "I give." and "Love." Therefore, Love is giving. The more we give love and the more we receive love the stronger the connection grows between two people. Makes sense, right? But what's important here is not receiving love, but giving--that is the secret. Giving is the vehicle of sustaining love. Not just giving our lover love, but ourself the love we deserve. 

Take a look at the relationship we have with our children compared to the one we have with our significant other. No, I'm not saying that the dynamics are the same in the two relationships, but there are similarities. We love our kids unconditionally. They misbehave, we understand and we still love them. Most of the time we sit and discuss their behavior. When they're sick, we nurture them. When they've had a bad day at school, we offer support. When they're scared, we cuddle them. When they're hungry, we feed them...and through all the pain we suffer with them, and anyone who has or had a teen understands the pain all too well, we still love them deeply. And a child's love is given so freely. Children see through our misdeeds and issues. 

Now, take a look at your relationship with your partner. When you argued last did you understand, or try to understand, his/her point? Did you get angry, throw in the towel and walk away? When your partner was sick, did you quarantine them to the bedroom and lock the door? When he/she reached out, maybe not in specific words, and told you their fears, were you too busy to sit and listen...really listen? When you saw your partner's shoulders slump from the weight of sadness or daily events, did you offer comfort?

Love is never easy. However, love is contageous. Giving can be the glue that ties two people together and the strength to weather the storm.