Have you ever been in an argument with a loved one and they said something that you found hurtful? Haha, we all have, eh? I'll admit...say something mean to me and I'll remember...well...forever. I don't forgive very easily either. I know, I know...forgiveness releases the heart from all of the bad feelings...wah-wah-wah... Still...I remember.
We have a tendency to remember the negative over the positive.
But that's not what this blog is about. I'll write about that another day...
What I'm interested in is how we, as mature adults, find the weak spot in our partner and use every dirty ammunition we have in our shed of tools to make them suffer. We'll keep pulling out the arsenal until, hot damn, we draw blood. We're a blood-thirsty people, aren't we?
Does it sound familiar? I've seen couples argue, the verbal lashing is like fireworks shooting sideways, and then suddenly, something is said that kills the show. The wound is deep. And then watch...the one that dug deep enough to draw blood will get this smile like they had emptied their bladder after holding it for hours. You know what I'm talking about? Pure relief. They don't say it, but look at the glossy eyes and the satisfied expression. They feel pure gratification in hurting the one they say they love.
Of course, not everyone is like this. I'm sure you're not. You're one of the 2 % of the world's population that fights fairly and acts mature all of the time in every situation. Yup...
Quesion...why do we do this? Is it human nature? Or, are we all spiteful, hateful people on a mission in life to give verbal whiplash to anyone who dares cross us?
We have a tendency to remember the negative over the positive.
But that's not what this blog is about. I'll write about that another day...
What I'm interested in is how we, as mature adults, find the weak spot in our partner and use every dirty ammunition we have in our shed of tools to make them suffer. We'll keep pulling out the arsenal until, hot damn, we draw blood. We're a blood-thirsty people, aren't we?
Does it sound familiar? I've seen couples argue, the verbal lashing is like fireworks shooting sideways, and then suddenly, something is said that kills the show. The wound is deep. And then watch...the one that dug deep enough to draw blood will get this smile like they had emptied their bladder after holding it for hours. You know what I'm talking about? Pure relief. They don't say it, but look at the glossy eyes and the satisfied expression. They feel pure gratification in hurting the one they say they love.
Of course, not everyone is like this. I'm sure you're not. You're one of the 2 % of the world's population that fights fairly and acts mature all of the time in every situation. Yup...
Quesion...why do we do this? Is it human nature? Or, are we all spiteful, hateful people on a mission in life to give verbal whiplash to anyone who dares cross us?
I tend not to fight as fairly as that. I tend to hurt by silence. I don't 'say' anything. I just say nothing. No matter how mean or spot on the other person is, I just shrug it off and let them have their way. I say things like, "Ok." "If you say so." "Fair enough" and then leave it at that. Usually it sucks the joy out of 'winning' and hurts them worse than if I'd reacted with anger or hurt. even if I am hurt or angry. I just get very stoic.
ReplyDeleteOnce I'm hurt I grow silent and that's where I'll be for awhile.
ReplyDelete