Sex Talk

Believe it or not, there's a right way and a wrong way to talk sexy. Have you ever wondered if you're talented in sex talk 101? As a writer, I sometimes hit the mark with some great sexy language, and other times, ehh, I didn't do so well.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Be yourself. If you start to mimic an actor in a movie then you're going to start sounding like you're playing a role. Not good when you're wanting to be authentic.

2. Find your voice. You know how writers are always told to find our voice? Well, there's a "voice" in sex talk also. Find your tone of voice that sounds sexy. Whisper soft or gruff and rough...one tone doesn't fit all.

3. Build your vocabulary. Most of us don't talk dirty. The chances are limited. After all, how often do we get to dig into our brain vocabulary and pull out words like pussy, cock, banging, sucking...you get the idea. If your vocabulary stinks, search sexy words on Google. They may feel a little awkward on your "baby" tongue, but you'll get used to using them, but please, only when the time is fitting.

4. Dirty talk is for two. Once you start feeling comfortable using "sex language," your partner will follow suit. The idea of sex talk is to flirt and tease, not see who can curse like a sailor.

5. Rules. Make them, and choose them wisely. Sexy is great. Nasty is not. Be aware of your boundaries when it comes to talking dirty. What some women find appealing, others won't.

Handcuffs

Handcuffs have been used to restrain people for centuries. Once upon a time, it was "one size fits all." Now, there's a whole array of different cuffs--size, rigid, hinged, color, furry...

Why is it a bad idea to use regular metal cuffs in the bedroom? Because they can be very uncomfortable, dangerous and "naughty cuffs" are made differently. Bondage cuffs are designed to be safer and more comfortable--often padded or with fur. Usually no key is required, but instead they are latched with velcro.

In Sin With Cuffs, my hero, Liam, is a sexy Chief of Police and heroine, Holly, wanted a taste of role playing. In came the metal handcuffs. If you're envisioning my heroine strapped to the bed with handcuffs retraining her and mouth covered with leather band, well, that's not Sin With Cuffs. You'll have to read SWC to see just how far Liam and Holly go, but you won't be disappointed.

Buy link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CXGC8A4/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d2_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=055C35GS6H5XSXCEBHTX&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1389517282&pf_rd_i=507846

Strange Sexual Customs

1. The Sambians
The semen-drinking tribe. At the age of seven, the males are separated from the females until the age of seventeen. During this time, they receive many skin piercings to let out any contamination brought on by women. They eat lots of sugar cane to bring on nose bleeds and vomiting. During the years while they're away from women, they must ingest semen from their elders, which promotes strength and power. When they are welcomed back into the main tribe, they must induce nose bleeds at the same time their wives are on their monthly.

2. Saut d'Eau
A city of ritual. If you visit Haiti in the month of July, you may be surprised with the "love" ritual. People gather naked and twist and roll around in the waterfalls. Sound kinky? Try disgusting. The water and mud is full of sacrificed animals' blood, with a few cow heads as floaters.

3. Egyptian Pharaohs
Apparently, the Pharaohs believed ejaculation had great healing and multiplying abilities, besides the obvious.  It was a ritual for the men to ejaculate in the Nile to ensure an abundance of water.The men were so inspired by self-stimulation, they had festivities that focused on groups of males standing around and publicly masturbating.

4. Ancient Greece
The ancient Greeks didn't define sexuality by gender, instead it was based on the role a person played during intercourse. Dominant and submissive. The active penetrator was designated to the masculine or richer person, or the one with higher status. The passive role was that of younger, poorer individuals. Same-sex relationships (between men) were considered "boy love" and somewhat a rite of passage among men. The older man was expected to show the young man, a boy who hadn't yet grown a beard, the way of love, therefore, giving the older man a life of prosperity.

Dating a friend

Dating someone you call "friend" can be tricky, but it's not impossible. You may worry if you take things to the next level, you'll lose your friend forever. It's important to test the waters of your friendship for romance material before you make a drastic move.

We've all had a friend who we've wondered what it'd be like to date. Why is it natural to have curiosity? Things we share with a friend is affection, attraction and trust--key ingredients to a perfect relationship (and of course sex). If you're already having sex with this friend, you've stepped into another category called "Friends With Benefits.'"

When we have fun with a friend, we want to spend a lot of time with that person.Let that person know you spend more time with them than anyone else. But remember, in friendship, both respect the other's feelings and opinions. If you have the hots for her, don't allow her to walk all over you. She'll want you to stand your ground. Give and take makes a great friendship. And, friendship is the base for any relationship.

Flirt, but easy. Best flirting technique is smiling. Making her laugh always makes you two closer.

Most importantly, you don't want to blow this. If you go too fast and she's
not ready, there's no going back to the way things were.

That's what my hero, Sebastian, is worried about in Friends With Benefits. He knows he loves Cassie, but what are her feelings? At the same time, Cassie is wondering if her best friend Sebastian has feelings like she does. Check this read out...

Buy here: http://www.amazon.com/Friends-With-Benefits-ebook/dp/B00CJY21N4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369261582&sr=8-1&keywords=rhonda+lee+carver

Time rushes when you're thinking smut...

For most of you, if I say, "All I have rolling around in my head is smut," you'd roll your eyes and call me a sex-crazed, horny toad. But for writers, you'll understand exactly what I mean--especially erotic writers. This is a good--no, great--thing for us. I swear I have divisions in my brain marked with names of different book titles. And in each of these compartments I have a storyline and a multitude of scenes, from conflict situations to hot sex. Are you wondering if it's hard to keep track? The answer is, "Hell yes!" I now have three planners. Each book has a purpose. For some reason I still can't keep up and keep track.

I'm currently working on polishing two projects, editing two, creating one, promoting two releases in the month of May, and I have three storyline's jotted on a piece of paper. Where do I have the time to juggle? I don't. But isn't this life's circle? To make money, we must spend money. To get good things, we must work hard. To write good sex, we must have good sex. That last motto is definitely true, right writers?

All in all, I can't complain about life. Through all of the busy hours and complex days, it's all good. I get to write everyday. And for me, that's what dreams are made of.

Where not to have sex

Have you ever been so freaking hot over someone you thought you'd bust if you didn't drop your drawers and do her/him right then and there. I bet we've all been that crazy a time or two, but it's important to think things through before you let the snake out of the cage. The wrong place could land you in jail, or with a disgusting rash on the nether region, or on You Tube as the nut whose butt is viewed by millions. None of those alternatives sound spectacular, especially when all you're out to get is a good time.

So, where would you NOT have sex? For some, your list may be very, very short, but here are a few places I'd keep my pants pulled up.

1. The back of a police car.
2. Bathroom at a fast food restaurant.
3. Chair with wheels.
4. An ice-cold bath.
5. The parking lot of Walmart.
6. Court.
7. In a church.
8. At a drive-thru.
9. Jail or Prison.
10. Train tracks.

Make that a cowboy for me...please and thank you.

I have a case of cowboy fever. I'm doing edits on Second Ride Cowboy and I've gotta say, I've written a rodeo-riding-stud. I'm not even finished with SRC and my mind is already plotting part 3 of the Second Cowboy series. Second Chance Cowboy, remember Carly and Chance's story, wasn't supposed to be a series but when you write juicy secondary characters, you've gotta do what you've gotta do. Now, I'm finishing up Lila and Duke's story and there's another character entwined among the mix that is dying for a story of her own? Can you guess who she is? Sorry...I can't tell you--at least not yet.

What makes a cowboy sexy enough that we want to lick them from head to toe? Is it the tight jeans worn in strategic places--groin, ass and thighs? And if you've noticed, every hole is big enough for a peep, but not big enough for a hand. Could it be possible to lust over strong, capable hands with callouses in all of the right places to awaken every nerve of a woman's body? And a tough man wears a Stetson, lowered over his forehead, shadowing his penetrating gaze. maybe it has nothing to do with callouses, worn jeans or the Stetson. Could be the confidence in his movements, the stealth of his steps or the casual way he leans against a fence post as if he claimed land.

Ever watch a cowboy ride his horse? He moves with grace as if his saddle was shaped for his ass. A man who can ride like that must be talented in many other areas.  My cowboys always smell like leather and masculinity. Yes, masculinity has a smell.

Whatever makes a cowboy special to you and whatever your reasons, readers love cowboy stories.

Straight women--Gay fantasy

Is it true that women are obsessed with gay romance? M/M books written for and by straight women are on the rise.

It's always been a bit of a joke that straight men are crazy about hot girl-on-girl action. Now is it that women are crazy about hot men-on-men action? Sex between two strapping, sweaty, bulging men is a sexy thought, right? The same readers who pick up a novel with a sexy heterosexual couple on front will also purchase the cover with two sexy men, partially undressed, embraced in an intimate pose. Most publishers have caught onto the trend and added a M/M line.

Human sexuality is a complicated, but harmless adventure. Fantasies are complex, and are innocent travels of the mind. Just as straight men are curious about lesbians, straight women are curious about gay men. Isn't it natural to wonder about the things we can't have?

As a writer, we must tap into the readers' fantasies. A reader opens a book to be transported into another world. For a few hours in time, they want to embrace fantasy and sexuality.  Read on...

Protect and Serve Me...Men in Uniform

I have a bit of a confession...I have a thing for men in uniform. Military, fire, police...my heart speeds up. That's why I had so much fun writing Sin With Cuffs. Liam Ryan, Chief of Police, a six-foot-three mass of brawny male...what's not to like, eh? And you can only imagine what a man like Liam can do with his handcuffs.

My fascination with men in uniform started when I watched the movie An Officer and a Gentleman. Holy cow...Richard Gere was made for that role. He was the beginning of it all for me. A man should wear a uniform with pride and confidence. I imagine it provokes a sense of power. I wouldn't argue if a man in dress whites swept in and carried me off into the sunset. *sigh*

 It's not just how good a man looks in uniform...it's the heroism that they stand for. Risking their lives in war, putting out fires and protecting citizens.

Liam Ryan is faced with protecting his heroine, Holly. He swears he'll protect her, but vows he won't fall for her again. Yet fate has other plans...

Sin With Cuffs is now available...

Buy Link: Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/Sin-With-Cuffs-ebook/dp/B00CQBITRC/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1368286901&sr=8-5&keywords=rhonda+lee+carver

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/315002

Can men fake orgasm?

I guess everyone has faked orgasm at least once, and probably for the same reason--expectation is high in lovemaking. Faking an orgasm once in a blue moon doesn't hurt anyone, right? So, when does it cause a problem? And is the issue really the lack of orgasm or the lie?

Can a woman tell whether her partner is having the "real" thing? Probably not all of the time. When an orgasm occurs, involuntary body contractions happen followed by a burst of ejaculation. It's possible a man can fake the body tension and rigid pelvic thrusts mimicking the big O, but what explanation is there for the lack of fluid? If a man is wearing a condom, he can easily remove the sheath and toss it, with his partner being none the wiser. I mean, after all, what person is going to dig for the used condom and search for remains? I'll pass...

Men faking orgasms aren't as uncommon as you may think. In fact, I bet they fake as often as women do. Question is, would it hurt your feelings if you found out your man was faking completion? Maybe it depends on what his reasons are? What could those reasons be? If he's had too much to drink. If he's tired. If he has ED. And...if he is feeling guilty for something and his mind just isn't into it.

A popular myth says that men are only concerned about their own orgasm. Most men want to please their partner. And if we make a big deal over the fact that he didn't complete, it could very well bury the hammer deeper into the issue, which is that a woman wants to please her man too...and it's most of our belief that good sex = big O's.

Isn't this a huge clue in how times are changing? Women have always been thought to fake orgasms (and yes, we do sometimes) and now we are realizing that men fake too.