Friday, March 22, 2013

Strange Sex Gadgets

There are many gadgets on the market that can make a person shake their head in disbelief. These are some of those things...

1. Want to lube up parts of your body without touching anything. Try Hands-Free Luber. It's an automatic lube dispenser that you stick your hands or body part underneath and you get lubed. Question is...one drip or two? Another question...if you don't want to touch a lube container, then would you be okay touching body fluids? Hmm...

2. Ever go down "south" and come away with a few hairs stuck between your teeth? *cringing* Pube-Be-Gone is a spray to rid your mouth of bodily fluids and yes, that prior mentioned pubic hair. Oh, and it makes your mouth minty fresh. Problem is, who the hell would have so much hair "down there" that it'd get stuck between your teeth? And if your licking parts that make your breath smell, you may want to skip the breath spray and go straight for a wet washcloth and a bar of soap.

3. How many times have we forgotten that we have a tampon in? Well, no more worries. The Tampinder saves the day. The device, worn on the wrist, beeps to let you know that you have a tampon in; therefore, you won't make the mistake of sticking something else in there at the same time. If a woman's memory gets this bad that she needs a tampon beeper I'd say go for a pad. Visual = remembering.

4. Don't like your man to ejaculate inside because of the mess? You'll love the Spuge-off. Like a mini vacuum, it sucks the sperm up. Here's a problem. Where does the fluid go? In a plastic compartment. Yum! Doesn't that sound much cleaner?!?

5. Condom break? Pull-out failure? Time to reach for the Royal Flush. It looks like an enema apparatus, but no fear, it fits inside the vajay-jay and pumps a solution in that kills all swimmers. Is the Royal Flush a much fancier name for a douche? No...the Royal Flush gadget is eco-friendly.

There you have it folks. A list of products that I'm sure you'll want to run out and get.

**Image from freedigitalphotos.net 

1 comment:

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